Julian awoke gradually from an extremely deep sleep and attempted to move his head. With a Herculean effort, he swung the dead weight from left to right and felt a nasty twang as his nose was bent against the unforgiving surface beneath him. He kept his eyes tightly shut during the whole manuever. When he opened them, they were watery from the pain and his vision was blurred as a result. A pink shape hovered into view, bobbing from side to side.
“Julian? Are you finally waking up?”
He recognised the voice. Last time he’d heard it had been in court.
“Cerys?” He croaked. “Is it you?”
“Yes, my turtle dove.”
He’d always hated being called that.
Her face came into view now, the witch’s finger of a nose as repulsive as he remembered. It wobbled as she spoke, and he had the sudden urge to bite it off.
“Cerys, what the hell is going on?”
“Don’t panic Julian, you’ll be pleased to know the operation was a success.”
From somewhere to his left, he could hear what sounded like a dentist’s drill whirring, and a man’s voice muttering sequences of numbers.
“What operation?” Julian stammered. His breath was escaping in short gasps and he found himself trying in vain to sit up. He could feel the dull ache of an encumbrance from somewhere around his hip, but he couldn’t pivot his head downwards to look.
“The operation to make us whole again”, Cerys explained, in a voice as calm as someone reading aloud from a cookbook. “As of 22:14, we were physically joined together, ready to start a new life as one! Now we can truly be together forever! The only slight snag is your fiance, but there’s always creases to be ironed out right, my turtle dove?”
Sam Smith is a former Creative Writing and Scriptwriting student, and has previously dabbled in both community radio broadcasting and stand-up comedy. His preferred genres of writing are sci-fi, horror and comedy. His stories will make you laugh and think, and he enjoys experimenting with convention to create offbeat scenarios and characters. His work has been featured in Maudlin House, Lit Cat, Two Words For and Visitant Lit.